Principles of Networking: Principle One

From the book:
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

Principle One:  Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

In this first principle the author, Dale Carnegie, offered example after example of people who did terrible things, but didn’t see themselves as having done anything wrong.  He used examples from dangerous criminals to the President of the United States to demonstrate how it is futile to criticize or condemn others, no matter how wrong they have done, because they won’t see it as you do anyway.  It’s a waste of energy.
Then the author added the short story entitled, “Father Forgets,” to sum up the entire lesson.  This story has been printed and reprinted in hundreds of magazines over the years because it really emphasizes the problem with criticism.  The story goes as follows:

FATHER FORGETS
by W. Livinston Larned
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead.  I have stolen into your room alone.  Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.  Guiltily I came to your bedside.  These are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you.  I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel.  I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes.  I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too.  You spilled things.  You gulped down your food.  You put your elbows on the table.  You spread butter too thick on your bread.  And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”  Then it began all over again in the late afternoon.  As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.  There were holes in your stockings.  I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.  Stockings were expensive--and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!  Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?  When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door.  “What is it you want?”  I snapped.  You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.  And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me.  What has habit been doing to me?  The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding--this was my reward to you for being a boy.  It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth.  I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character.  The little heart of yours was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills.  This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night.  Nothing else matters tonight, son.  I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!  It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours.  But tomorrow I will be a real daddy!  I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer and laugh when you laugh.  I will bite my tongue when impatient words come.  I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy--a little boy!”  I am afraid I have visualized you as a man.  Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby.

Finally, the author closed with this, “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them.  Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.  That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.  ‘To know all is to forgive all.’  As Dr. Johnson said: ‘God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.’  Why should you and I?”

Principles of Networking Series: Introduction

 
Networking and Influence leads to owning your own undefeated ABA basketball team.

Welcome to Dale Carnegie's course in networking.  Actually it's his book entitled, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," released in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, sold more than 15 million copies, and is still one of the best known motivational books in history.  If you do what he tells you to do, it will change your life.  Not only will these lessons help you to increase your bottom line significantly, but it will help you better get along with family, friends, co-workers, etc.  You can never EVER go wrong in learning about people and how to influence them.  NEVER.

I will be posting one lesson per day, until we complete the book.  But before we do that I will begin this post with the nine suggestions on how to get the most out of this book.  They are:

1. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human relations.
2. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
4. Underscore each important idea.
5. Review this book each month.
6. Apply these principles at every opportunity.  Use this book as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.
7. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering your friend or family member a quarter or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
8. Check up each week on the progress you are making.  Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
9. Start and maintain a journal, recording how and when you have applied these principles.

Now in reviewing these principles of Dale Carnegie, you may say, this is too much, and if you are thinking or saying that, you are absolutely right.  These lessons are for the elect few who are sick and tired of being sick and tired, those few who want something different, and know to get something different you have to DO something different.  These lessons are for those who who have millionaire mindsets or for those who really want millionaire mindsets.  These lessons are for those who have the stamina and the strength to PUSH past mediocre into greatness.  Are you ready?  If, so, see you tomorrow.

Outsource Your Workforce

 

 It's 2:00 pm and the client will be walking through the door in an hour. Your assistant just quit, and you have no clue of what to do. Well, we may need to look at the situation that caused your assistant to walk out of the door leaving you in such a bind, but that's a blog for another time. Call a Temp Agency. I suppose you could call a Temp agency, but then there is the matter of whether they have someone available, and whether they could be in your office on such short notice. The truth of the matter is I seriously doubt it. The Temp Agency would first have to check out your credentials, then they would have you complete all sorts of paperwork to qualify you, then they would probably try to lock you in some kind of long term contract. By the time all of that is complete, you have missed your appointment. Reschedule the Client Appointment. Rescheduling the appointment may be an option, but boy do you look unprofessional. Calling a client at the last minute to reschedule an appointment is very unprofessional. That client expects you to be well prepared with a solution to all of his problems, not calling him to tell him or her about yours. Begging the Assistant to Return. Whether you can beg the Assistant to stay until the end of the client appointment, may be an option, but it is highly unlikely. Depending on the circumstances that led up to the Assistant's departure, you may be left with two outcomes bad and worse. First, the Assistant who has already left mad enough to walk out on a job in this economy is not likely to just return to work. However, she may have thought it over and realized the rashness of her sudden departure and the necessity of her livelihood. Thus you may be able to talk her into returning, but if you do, it will definitely cost you in more ways than one. The Assistant will think he has the upper hand on you and the demands will start to roll, beginning with the increase in pay for just returning to work that day. It seems the only solution would be to contact Dial-A-Cheap-Assistant. With Dial-A-Cheap-Assistant, you don't have to worry about contracts, you don't have to worry about whether someone will be able to come on short notice, and you don't have to worry about paying through the nose. Dial-A-Cheap-Assistant will be there promptly, professionally, and efficiently to handle all of your support needs. There is a flat hourly or project rate, depending on the length of the service. Qualified professional competence at an affordable cost is an absolute assurance with our company. Call us today for a free assessment of your office support needs. Don't worry about the fee, we guarantee you can afford it.